Ever pause and think, “How did I get here?” Yeah… same.
If younger me had mapped out this life, I would’ve imagined love, family, purpose and I have all of that, in ways I’m deeply grateful for. But I never imagined the heartbreak. The kind that asks you to rebuild from the inside out.
I didn’t plan for soul-deep reckonings. But those unexpected moments? They’ve reshaped me. They’ve brought more clarity, depth, and meaning to everything I do. And somehow, through it all, they’ve expanded my capacity to love, create, and keep showing up with my whole heart.
There are chapters I wouldn’t have written by choice, but they’ve become the foundation of who I am—and why I do the work I do. And the wild thing? I love where I’ve landed. I wake up with purpose, pouring it into the words I write, the people I serve, and the mission that lives through #hersmile.
So grab a cup of tea, take a breath, and settle in. This is a space where healing is honored, and where we remember—through all of it—there’s still beauty, still purpose, and still a path forward.
Hey, doesn’t life feel incredibly personal sometimes?
When we were younger, we thought things would follow a straight path—dot to dot, goal to goal, like some guaranteed map to a promised future. No one warned us that life could pivot in ways we never saw coming.
If someone had told me about the heartbreak, the beauty, the growth, and the unexpected chapters ahead, I probably would’ve laughed and said, “Not me.”
But here’s the truth: I’ve always had this inner fire. Since I was young, I wanted to do something big—something on my terms. In my 20s, that meant chasing a dream on the golf course, building my own lane, and craving freedom, not just to succeed, but to live fully.
Back then, it was about winning. Today, it’s about meaning.
I’ve lived through deep loss, personal transformation, and the kind of soul work that changes you from the inside out. And now, everything I create—whether it’s a book, a course, or a conversation—is designed to help others do the same: rise, heal, build, and thrive.
I’m here to help you share your story, grow your resilience, and create something real that reflects who you are and what you’ve walked through.
So, what’s my mission now? To take everything I’ve learned—from the detours to the breakthroughs—and walk beside you as you step into your next chapter with purpose, fire, and full permission to live in joy despite your circumstances.
I was born in the vibrant city of San Francisco, California. I have two remarkable, hardworking parents who taught me the importance of resilience, self-advocacy, and always giving life my best.
One childhood memory that stands out is my father’s response when I didn’t receive a good mark on my 4th-grade report card. All he said to me was, “Did you do your best?”
That simple question became a driving force in my life. Because on that day, my honest answer came back clear as day: “I can do better.”
During my early childhood, I was known for my fiery temperament, with 2-year-old temper tantrums being far from uncommon. However, I’ve come a long way since those early days, and personal growth has been a significant part of my journey.
In elementary school, I faced teasing about my weight…which to this day my sister promises me it was “just baby fat!” My mother’s guidance proved invaluable during this time. She taught me to stand up for myself, a valuable lesson that would serve me well throughout my life.
My teenage years brought my first boyfriend into the picture—a relationship that turned out to be a rather turbulent experience. Naïve and idealistic, I often saw only the good in people. This relationship, however, became my first real lesson in not taking everything at face value and learning to look beneath the surface.
While I hold no ill will toward that person, the experience taught me the importance of surrounding myself with people who embody trust and respect.
That understanding has guided me in my personal and professional life, reminding me to share my time, energy, and heart with those who truly enhance it.
My athletic spirit was evident throughout my school years. I dabbled in everything—from dance to snow skiing, and eventually found my way to soccer. Sports gave me a healthy outlet to express my competitive nature and to push my physical and mental limits.
Then, just weeks before my 16th birthday, an unexpected twist led me to the game of golf. In a funny turn of events, my dad got lost on his way to the dumps and stumbled across a driving range. When he came home, he was excited about the discovery and suggested we go together.
At first, I laughed. Golf didn’t exactly seem “cool” at the time. But something about watching it on ABC Sports—the quiet focus, the commentary, the unfamiliar jargon—sparked my curiosity. I changed my mind, and just like that, my adventure with golf began.
Interestingly, when we arrived at the driving range, I ran into a good friend from middle school who happened to work there. That unexpected connection made the experience even more inviting. To make a long story short, I fell in love with golf almost instantly. I made close connections right away—and as it turned out, I wasn’t half bad at it.
The game lit a fire in me. My competitive spirit kicked in, and I became determined to excel. I progressed quickly, but my drive to be the best soon began to overshadow the simple joy that first drew me to the game.
After high school graduation, I set my sights on playing Division I golf. I enrolled at our local junior college to hone my skills. With no women’s team available, I practiced with the boys and competed in local men’s tournaments—because women’s tournaments were hard to come by back then.
A local golf pro gave my parents some advice: “If you really want to help her improve, get her into tournaments.” So that’s what we did. And when we couldn’t find enough local opportunities for women, a co-worker from the golf course and I took matters into our own hands—we launched the first women’s county golf tournament in our region. I was only 19. That probably says a lot about the “let’s make sh@$ happen” side of me.
Then one day, out of the blue, I got a call from the women’s golf coach at the University of San Francisco. The school was launching a new women’s golf program, and they wanted to offer me a scholarship. It felt like destiny unfolding in real time. I was watching my dream come to life. It was truly magical.
I accepted the offer and became part of USF’s inaugural women’s golf team. But what followed were two of the most difficult years of my life up to that point. The relentless pursuit of perfection consumed me, and the love I had for the game slowly began to wear me thin.
During my college years, I found myself thriving academically while forming strong friendships. I was disciplined with my time and rarely indulged in partying, choosing instead to maintain a laser focus on my studies and game.
However, with the benefit of hindsight, I now realize that my focus was often misplaced. Much like my earlier experiences with golf, I had become overly obsessed with the pursuit of perfection. It was a valuable lesson that has woven its way through the fabric of my life, teaching me that life itself is a game meant to be enjoyed in the moment, not perfected. This understanding has since become a guiding piece of my recipe, emphasizing the importance of living in the present and appreciating each moment. When we become too fixated on where we should be or how we should have everything figured out, we risk missing out on the joys of the journey. This insight can be challenging for our culture to grasp, but the irony, the secret recipe of life, lies in the being in the moment and rendering joy from the moment, which ultimately brings forth all other desirable outcomes.
Upon completing my college education, I held a degree in physiology and like many student athletes I didn’t have an intention of following a traditional career path in the field I studied because I held onto my dream of becoming a professional golfer. So what did I do?
I kept playing, practicing, and grinding. I stayed in the golf industry because of the perks and after college I landed a position at the prestigious Presidio Golf Club in San Francisco, California. Managing the pro shop, I made history as the first woman to hold this role in 95 years. Truth be told, that golf course was my nemesis but I loved the job!
Approximately three years after graduating from college, I began to confront some hard truths about my aspirations. At that point, I had been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend, who was a professional golfer. I had witnessed firsthand the grueling reality of life on the mini tour, where he traveled from one town to the next, managing his limited resources despite having a sponsor.
The lifestyle was far from glamorous, characterized by nights in dive motels and encounters with shady individuals and don’t forget the X-14 to clean off the bathroom ‘ick’!
At the age of 26, I embarked on a transformative journey that began with a seemingly innocent decision to attend a local weekend seminar with my golf coach. This seminar aimed to delve into the intricacies of mindset and personal development, with the primary motivation being a desire to enhance mental toughness. Little did I know that this weekend exercise would serve as a pivotal turning point of clarity in my life.
During the seminar, I found myself posing challenging questions to my inner self. In a moment of profound honesty, I confronted a fundamental question: Did I genuinely aspire to become a professional touring lady golfer? The answer was a resounding “no.” The path to achieving such a dream would demand immense improvements on my part. Plus, I had no inclination to embrace the lifestyle my boyfriend was living.
In the midst of introspection, I also gained remarkable clarity regarding the kind of relationship I wanted in my life. It is so hard to put into words, but there was a line in the sand drawn that weekend, and it illuminated a clear path forward. I now knew I wanted an “intimate and loving relationship,” and boy, did the universe deliver!
Here lies a fundamental truth: once we achieve absolute clarity about what we want in our lives, envisioning it as if it were a tangible reality, the universe responds in kind. This clarity, coupled with an unwavering commitment to authenticity, became another essential ingredient in my recipe for success. Please remember this!
With these realizations, my life underwent a substantial pivot. A mere two weeks later, my world began to change in ways that could only be described as living life with intention. I took the brave step of ending my relationship with my boyfriend, a decision that marked the closing of one significant chapter in my life.
And then, in a stroke of serendipity, a special boy from my past reentered my life. We had originally met years prior on a Caribbean cruise, an encounter that had faded into memory until one destiny-shaping night. That night the stars aligned, and our paths converged once again, setting the stage for a new and profound chapter in my life’s journey. Ten months later we were engaged!
A year after our engagement, we exchanged vows, committing ourselves to a lifelong journey together. Our wedding day was a beautiful celebration, marking the start of a life filled with shared dreams and the responsibilities of building a life together.
Around this time, I also left the golf industry in pursuit of making more money. I wanted to contribute more to the life we set out to build. I began my professional journey in the real estate field, and I had the privilege of working for a husband-and-wife team for several years. It was an experience that left a lasting impact. Not only did it provide me with invaluable insights and expertise, but it also introduced me to some wonderful people who have become cherished friends to this day.
Tragically, I also lost my amazing father that year. His presence in my life meant everything to me, and his passing left a profound void in my life. I never wanted to feel too sad over his passing though, because of what an incredible gift he was in my life. And then, in another emotional twist after his passing, I felt the circle of life move through me. It’s interesting how life often guides us, as I had never planned on starting a family so early in our marriage.
Eleven months after my father passed away, my daughter Jenna was born—and my heart opened in ways I never could have imagined. From the very beginning, I was in awe of her. I wanted to give her a life filled with love, stability, and beauty—one where she always felt seen, safe, and adored.
Those early years were full—juggling motherhood, navigating change, and learning what it meant to pour myself fully into the people I love most. Looking back, it was one of the most meaningful seasons of my life.
But as life does, it brought its share of unexpected turns. While on maternity leave with my second daughter, I was laid off. At the time, it felt abrupt—but it also cracked open the space for something new.
Just days after losing my job, I stepped into a new path—training as a Real Estate appraiser and building a business that supported both my family and my evolving sense of purpose.
It wasn’t just a career shift. It was one more reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned—and yet, the detours often lead us exactly where we need to be.
My business didn’t just support my professional goals; it gave me the gift of presence. I had the flexibility to be there for the moments that mattered most with my family. Within five years, we had three beautiful daughters, and we were deeply in love with the life we were building together.
But here’s the truth I didn’t see coming:
No one gets through life untouched. And eventually, everything we thought was stable began to unravel.
What I haven’t told you yet is that during those years, I also began investing in real estate. I worked hard—physically, emotionally, financially—to create something lasting. I flipped homes with my own hands. I poured my heart into properties and eventually rolled everything into what I believed was my most secure investment yet: an apartment building that I hoped would one day fund my daughters’ college dreams.
For a while, it worked. I ran it like a business. I prepared for setbacks. I built in margins. I did everything “right.”
But then came the 2008 housing collapse—and with it, a perfect storm I couldn’t outrun.
By 2010, we got notice from the bank that they wouldn’t renew our loan. Not because of anything we did wrong, but because the bank itself was crumbling. I went from bank to bank, trying to refinance—but the value had plummeted, and my options vanished.
The only way to keep the building would’ve required bleeding thousands out of pocket every month. We tried to make it work. We held on. But eventually, we had to let go—and take a devastating loss.
I felt like a failure. I felt foolish. I questioned every decision I had made.
Why did I tie up all my cash in one place? Why didn’t I keep more in reserves? Why didn’t I see it coming?
The truth? Because I believed in what I was building. Because I was trying to create a future for my family. Because I thought I was doing the wise, responsible thing.
And maybe… I still was. Even though it didn’t end the way I planned.
As if the financial devastation we had faced wasn’t enough, what came just four years later brought a level of heartbreak no words can truly carry.
In 2014, our radiant, full-of-life daughter Jenna, just 14 years old, was in a tragic accident that took her from us.
Everything stopped.
The kind of loss that cracks your soul wide open changes everything. And yet, somehow, even in the darkness, our family held on to each other. We searched for light. We searched for meaning. And we chose to honor Jenna the only way we knew how: by carrying her love forward.
That’s how #hersmile was born, a nonprofit created to wrap our arms around families navigating the same stormy seas. It became our way of turning pain into purpose, and making sure Jenna’s spirit continued to shine.
Seven months after she passed, I stepped away from my appraisal business. I was grieving, but I was also building. Starting #hersmile was how I survived: by grieving through action, by pouring my love into something that could outlive the pain.
And from that place of loss, something new began to take shape. I found myself diving headfirst into the digital world, further than I ever imagined. Not just to build a nonprofit, but to tell stories, share hope, and make space for others to feel less alone.
Those were the days and nights of wrestling with website designs, email newsletters, and wrangling online ads. It was all about ensuring our mission shone through every little detail. Everything I had been through taught me to keep going, keep creating and to never give up.
And you know what? Stepping into the online space changed everything.
It wasn’t just a digital world—it became a living, breathing canvas. A place to tell real stories, honor what matters, and connect with people in ways that felt human, honest, and deeply needed.
For me, it became a place to write. To process. To offer something meaningful in the wake of everything I’ve lived through.
Words were always my way in—and now, they became my way through.
Through grief. Through rebuilding. Through rediscovering who I was becoming.
I tried returning to an office job for a while, but something inside me kept whispering that I was meant to lead from a different place. My rhythm wasn’t meant to follow someone else’s steps—I needed space to create, to write, and to guide others from the heart.
So I returned to what’s always felt most true: using my voice to help others feel less alone.
And now, here I am—writing again. Sharing stories, reflections, and lessons gathered along the way. Some of it’s heavy. Some of it’s light. All of it is real.
That’s what led me to write When Grief and Loss Won’t Shut Up.
It wasn’t just a book project—it was a lifeline. A way to make sense of what I was carrying. A way to speak to the silence so many of us live with after loss.
I wrote it because grief doesn’t follow a script. It doesn’t wrap itself up in neat conclusions. It lingers. It transforms. And for many, it isolates.
This book is for the quiet fighters—anyone who’s had to keep going when their world fell apart. It’s for the ones who need someone to put into words what they haven’t been able to say out loud.
When Grief and Loss Won’t Shut Up is an offering of truth, tenderness, and hope.
Not because I have all the answers—
But because I’ve lived the questions, and I want you to know you’re not alone in yours.
And I believe there’s power in choosing to move forward—not by leaving love behind, but by carrying it with you.
For me, my work and my writing have been a way to live out my love for my daughter, to let it ripple into the world in ways that might ease someone else’s pain, even just a little. That’s what I feel called to do—to turn love into something living, something lasting.
If you’re here, I hope these words meet you gently. I hope they remind you that your love doesn’t end with loss—and that moving forward with love is one of the most powerful things we can do.
(I truly believe Jenna has sent me to you!)
Your presence in this chapter of my story fills me with immense gratitude. Here’s to our shared aspirations, growth, and the infinite possibilities ahead!
With warmth and determination,
Dena Betti
My mission is to offer space, encouragement, and guidance for those seeking clarity and meaning as they move through grief and loss.
This mission is rooted in the love I carry for my daughter, Jenna. Living that love out loud—through writing, reflection, and service—is what I feel most called to do. My hope is that by sharing what I’ve learned, I can help others find the strength to rise, the courage to create, and the permission to keep going with grace.
My mission revolves around YOU:
Your hardest chapters can fuel your greatest life. Walk with me,step by step, toward purpose, peace, and power.
