Personal Story: Born in San Francisco, California

I was born in the vibrant city of San Francisco, California, a place of opportunity and beauty.  I have two remarkable, hardworking parents who taught me the importance of resilience, self-advocacy, and always giving this life my best. One childhood memory that stands out is my father’s response when I didn’t receive a good mark on one area of my 4th grade report card. All he said to me was, “Did you do your best?” This simple question has been a driving force in my life, because on that day I truly asked myself that question and the answer came back as honest as they come, “I can do better.”

Early Memories and Life Lessons

During my early childhood, I was known for my fiery temperament, with 2-year-old temper tantrums being far from uncommon. However, I’ve come a long way since those early days, and personal growth has been a significant part of my journey.

In elementary school, I faced teasing about my weight…which to this day my sister promises me it was “just baby fat!” My mother’s guidance proved invaluable during this time. She taught me to stand up for myself, a valuable lesson that would serve me well throughout my life.

As my childhood transitioned into my teenage years, I was always the social girl with a big friend group. We were inseparable and constantly engaged in various activities, from school activities to sports. We never missed a chance to attend football games, dances, or parties. I recall my mother occasionally questioning the absence of a physical party invitation, to which I would laughingly reply, “Mom, you should know that a party isn’t a party unless we’re there.” Overall, my childhood and teenage years were filled with remarkable people and unforgettable experiences.

My teenage years also brought my first boyfriend into the picture, and it proved to be a rather turbulent experience for me. Naïve and idealistic, I often saw only the good in people. This relationship, however, was my first lesson in not taking everything at face value and learning to dig beneath the surface. While I have no ill words to speak of that person, the experience taught me the importance of trust and respect in the people I surrounded myself with. This approach has been a guiding principle in both my personal and business life, motivating me to share my life with people who enhance it. 

My athletic spirit was evident throughout my school years. I dabbled in various activities, from dance, to snow skiing and eventually to soccer. Sports allowed me to express my competitive nature freely.

Then, weeks before my 16th birthday, an unexpected turn of events led me to the game of golf. My dad, in an amusing twist of fate, stumbled upon the driving range while lost on his way to the dumps. When he got home, he was excited about his new find and suggested we venture to the range together.  Although I initially chuckled at the idea (because golf didn’t seem very ‘cool’ at all), something about watching golf on ABC Sports and hearing the golf jargon on TV, interested me. I changed my mind, and my adventure with golf began. 

Interestingly, when we arrived at the driving range, I encountered a good friend from middle school who worked there. To make a long story short, I quickly fell in love with golf, instantly made close connections, and I wasn’t half bad at it. The game ignited my competitive spirit, and I became determined to excel. Although I progressed relatively quickly, my obsession with being the best began to overshadow the simple joy of playing the game.

Soon high school graduation happened.  With the goal to play D1 golf in college, I headed to our local junior college to hone my skills.  I practiced with the boys’ team and participated in area men’s tournaments because women’s tournaments were hard to come by back then.  The local pro had told my parents, “Get her in tournaments if you really want to help her improve quickly.”   So that’s what we did. But because there were few women’s tournaments in our region, a female co-worker from the golf course and I took it upon ourselves to start the first women’s county golf tournament in our region.  I was just 19 years old!  I guess that speaks a bit to the fire…’let’s make sh@$ happen’…personality I have. 

Then, out of the blue, I received a call from the University of San Francisco’s women’s college coach. The school was launching a women’s golf program and wanted to know if I’d be interested in a scholarship to join the team. It felt like destiny.  I literally was watching my dream unfold right before my eyes.  It was truly magical!. 

I accepted the offer to be a part of the inaugural University of San Francisco women’s golf team. However, what followed were two of the most challenging years of my life up to that point, as the relentless pursuit of perfection consumed me, and the love I had for the game began to wear me thin.

College Years: Discovering the Pursuit of Joy

During my college years, I found myself thriving academically while forming strong friendships. I was disciplined with my time and rarely indulged in partying, choosing instead to maintain a laser focus on my studies and game.

However, with the benefit of hindsight, I now realize that my focus was often misplaced. Much like my earlier experiences with golf, I had become overly obsessed with the pursuit of perfection. It was a valuable lesson that has woven its way through the fabric of my life, teaching me that life itself is a game meant to be enjoyed in the moment, not perfected. This understanding has since become a guiding piece of my recipe, emphasizing the importance of living in the present and appreciating each moment. When we become too fixated on where we should be or how we should have everything figured out, we risk missing out on the joys of the journey. This insight can be challenging for our culture to grasp, but the irony, the secret recipe of life, lies in the being in the moment and rendering joy from the moment, which ultimately brings forth all other desirable outcomes.

Upon completing my college education, I held a degree in physiology and like many student athletes I didn’t have an intention of following a traditional career path in the field I studied because I held onto my dream of becoming a professional golfer. So what did I do? 

I kept playing, practicing, and grinding.  I stayed in the golf industry because of the perks and after college I landed a position at the prestigious Presidio Golf Club in San Francisco, California. Managing the pro shop, I made history as the first woman to hold this role in 95 years.  Truth be told, that golf course was my nemesis but I loved the job!

Turning It Around: Clarity and Change

Approximately three years after graduating from college, I began to confront some hard truths about my aspirations. At that point, I had been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend, who was a professional golfer. I had witnessed firsthand the grueling reality of life on the mini tour, where he traveled from one town to the next, managing his limited resources despite having a sponsor.

The lifestyle was far from glamorous, characterized by nights in dive motels and encounters with shady individuals and don’t forget the X-14 to clean off the bathroom ‘ick’!

At the age of 26, I embarked on a transformative journey that began with a seemingly innocent decision to attend a local weekend seminar with my golf coach. The purpose of this seminar was to delve into the intricacies of mindset and personal development, with my primary motivation being a desire to enhance my mental toughness on the golf course. Little did I know that this weekend exercise would serve as a pivotal turning point of clarity in my life.

During the seminar, I found myself posing challenging questions to my inner self once again. In a moment of profound honesty, I confronted a fundamental question: Did I genuinely aspire to become a professional touring lady golfer? The answer was a resounding “no.” The path to achieving such a dream would demand immense improvements that I was not fully prepared to undertake. Plus, I had no inclination to embrace the lifestyle my boyfriend was living.

In the midst of this introspection, I also gained remarkable clarity regarding the kind of relationship I desired in my life. It was a crystalline vision, a tangible aspiration that I could almost touch. This newfound clarity is so hard to put into words but there was a line in the sand that was drawn that weekend and it illuminated a path forward for me that I was not willing to turn my back on.  I came out of that seminar knowing I wanted an “intimate and loving relationship” and boy did the universe deliver! 

Here lies a fundamental truth: once we achieve absolute clarity about what we want in our lives, envisioning it as if it were a tangible reality, the universe responds in kind. This clarity, coupled with an unwavering commitment to authenticity, becomes another essential ingredient in the recipe for success.  Please remember this!

With these realizations, my life underwent a substantial pivot. A mere two weeks later, my world began to change in ways that could only be described as living life with intention. I took the brave step of ending my relationship with my boyfriend, a decision that marked the closing of one very significant chapter in my life and the opening of another.

And then, in a stroke of serendipity, a special boy from my past reentered my life. We had originally met years prior on a Caribbean cruise, an encounter that had faded into memory until one fateful night at a bar. There the stars aligned, and our paths converged once again, setting the stage, once again, for a new and profound chapter in my life’s journey. Ten months later we were engaged!

Embracing a New Path

A year after our engagement, we exchanged vows, committing ourselves to a lifelong journey together. Our wedding day was a beautiful celebration, marking the start of a life filled with shared dreams and the responsibilities of building a life together.

Around this time I also left the golf industry in pursuit of making more money  I wanted to contribute more to the life we set out to build, I began my professional journey in the real estate field and I had the privilege of working for a husband-and-wife team for several years.  It was an experience that left a lasting impact. Not only did it provide me with invaluable insights and expertise, but it also introduced me to some wonderful people who have become cherished friends to this day.

Tragically, the same year we were married, I lost my amazing father. His presence in my life meant everything to me, and his passing was a deeply profound moment. I remember how I felt guilty being too sad because I wanted to focus on what an incredible gift I was given as a father.  And then in another emotional twist after his passing, I felt the circle of life move through me.  It’s interesting how life often guides us, as I had never planned on starting a family so early in our marriage. 

Eleven months after my father’s passing, my daughter Jenna was born, and my love affair with motherhood began. I also remember how conscious I was in my ability to give this little beautiful life a plentiful and secure upbringing. So we continued to work hard and focus towards climbing the financial ladder.  Sure we had to juggle our time and attention but what a precious time of my life that was! 

My career path took me to a dot-com company that was part of Chevron’s operations. This was an exciting venture, working in an emerging market. However, I soon realized that it came with its own set of challenges, notably volatility in the industry.

Life took an unexpected turn while on maternity leave with my second daughter.  I was laid off. Luckly, several months prior, I met and befriended a father who was my age while attending RCIA. He had a career as an attorney and a real estate appraiser. The idea of real estate appraising seemed intriguing to me—flexible hours, the opportunity to work from home, and the chance to glean interior design ideas from inside countless houses.  What interior designer hobbyist wouldn’t want to do that as a career!  So three days after being laid off, my new found friend helped me embark on a career as a real estate appraiser, and within a year, I had established my own thriving appraisal business.

My business not only fueled my professional aspirations, but also blessed me with a balance between work and the treasured moments of freedom to be present with my family.  Within five years we had three beautiful girls and we absolutely loved the family and life we had created together!

But now, as I sit here writing to you, I’ve realized it’s hard to get through this life unscathed. Never did we think so much would come crashing down on us.  

What I forgot to tell you is I also started investing in real estate and after four years had bought and flipped properties to the accumulation of a really sizable nest egg.   Through my own manual labor and sweat equity, I restored properties, one after the next.  I rolled all my efforts and the majority of my cash into a decent size apartment building.   My end game was to keep the apartment for long-term and it would serve as a way to pay for my daughter’s college education one day.  So for five years, I ran the apartment like a business. 

The mortgage was on a five year fixed mortgage and because of my real estate appraising background, I built a 25% loss into my financials should I be faced with uncertainties in the future.  But a perfect storm was on the horizon and one very few knew was going to be that devastating.  

In 2008, I could see the downturn in the real estate market starting to take shape but I could never have predicted, not only how bad it would be, but that we would be caught right dab in the center of it.  

In 2010 we got a notice from the bank that they would not be able to finance a new loan for us once our five year loan expired.  We were in good standing with the bank but the bank was not in good standing.  So I set out, bank after bank, to secure a new mortgage.  But since the apartment was now valued for less than 50% of what we purchased it for (who would have ever hedged their bet to that degree?) and my vacancies had skyrocketed, no bank would touch it. 

If we wanted to keep the apartment building, I was going to have to go with a super high interest rate, costing me thousands of dollars out of pocket each month.  We thought about weathering the storm but with the level of uncertainty in the market, we decided to sell and take a devasting loss.  

I felt like a failure.  I felt so stupid for putting all my cash into the property.  Why did I do that?  Had I kept cash reserves, we most likely would have the property today.  Honestly…I did it because I thought the property would grow my nest egg.  I thought it was the prudent and wise thing to do but boy was I wrong!  

As if being hit with such financial devastation wasn’t enough, it’s hard to put in words the emotional bomb we were hit with just four years later.  It’s truly so difficult to even put into words.  It’s so very raw to share it here… But I will share with you that in 2014 our gorgeous 14-year-old daughter Jenna was in a tragic accident that took her from us.  

In our world of devastation, our family stayed strong and we found a way to light up the darkness. To keep Jenna’s spirit alive, we rolled up our sleeves and founded a nonprofit, #hersmile. Our aim? To wrap our arms around families sailing in the same stormy seas. 

I stopped my appraisal business seven months after Jenna passed. I was grieving and starting #hersmile was my way of grieving through doing. I dove headfirst into the deep end of the digital pool, way more than I ever thought I would. Those were the days and nights of wrestling with website designs, email newsletters, and wrangling online ads. It was all about ensuring our mission shone through every little detail.  Everything I had been through taught me to keep going, keep creating and to never give up. 

And you know what? This digital playground was a revelation! It was no longer just about pixels or codes; it was my canvas to paint stories, weave connections, and champion the undying human spirit that finds purpose even in pain.

I totally got why people raved about the digital realm – it’s a game-changer, letting folks connect and share tales in a whole new, exciting way.  It allows you to find your tribe and connect to your tribe. 

But as life goes, the plot twists again. With my middle daughter gearing up for college, bills started giving me side-eyes. Time to refill the coffers!

I did a stint with another nonprofit, but boy, did it feel like wearing shoes two sizes too small. My heart was itching to dance to its own beat again. At the heart of who I am is a solopreneur. 

So, channeling my inner daredevil, I jumped onto the digital marketing trampoline. And wowza! In no time, I was making over a grand a day. Talk about a sweet surprise! It wasn’t just the money; it was the thrill of connecting and serving people in a way that gave them hope.  I know all too well the power of hope and I want to be that beacon of light for others. 

I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to my digital educators Russ Ruffino, Gerry Cramer, Rob Jones, Keegan Mueller, Tammy Truong, Donathan Gamble, and Jason Caluori. They shaped me as a marketer and connected me with a vast readership, effective systems, and recipes for success!

Fast forward a bit, and Chris Reader of Profit Singularity reached out to me.  He saw my wild ride and wanted me on their team as a mentor. How cool is that?

Now, here I am, with my digital toolbox, ready to sprinkle some of that magic your way. I’ve got stories, laughs, tears, and a treasure trove of lessons to share.

That’s where this blog hops in.

For everyone reading this, know that I’m here to share, guide, and empower you. I can’t want it more than you want it but boy I can put some wind beneath your wings.  

Whether you’ve taken a shot at the digital space before and didn’t quite hit the mark, are a business wanting to expand your digital footprint, a solopreneur aiming for the stars, or just someone seeking a little more time freedom, this blog is my way of giving back – equipping you with strategies and tools honed from my very own journey.

(I truly believe Jenna has sent me to you!)

Your presence in this chapter of my story fills me with immense gratitude. Here’s to our shared aspirations, growth, and the infinite possibilities ahead!

With warmth and determination,

Dena Betti